Yesterday was a rest day, so I did little more than attend another yoga class. As I've posted about previously, I am newly in love with Bikram Yoga. There is a sad truth here, though. Though I poke fun at myself for "sucking" at running, it is mostly just for humor's sake and I am well aware that I am a strong and somewhat accomplished runner (well, I *have* accomplished a lot of miles and races!) and I take some amount of pride in that. Here's the thing, though . . . I truly suck at yoga. Really! I can barely stand on one leg to put my socks on, nevermind doing this:
, or this, , or a half dozen other similar poses that require one to stand on only one of one's legs (there's an awkward construction) for a ridiculously long period of time, twice! while sweat literally runs off the body with a force greater than some showers I've been in. I spend more time falling over than standing up, concentrating more on trying not to crash into my neighbor than on "yogi breathing." No exaggeration, I think your average 3 year old has more coordination than me. Klutzy klutzy klutzy.
Which is why yoga class is pretty much exactly where I belong (oh, and the running thing? took away the one advantage I might have had, flexibility. Gone.). Last night's class was the worst so far, I maintained hardly a single posture and I was sweaty and heart-racingly short of breath right till the very end, which seemed an hour later than usual. After class, I asked the teacher for some insight into why I had the balance of a wet noodle and she said exactly what I knew she was going to say the following:
It's all in your head.
That balance comes from within and I had to find it within myself, yadda yadda yadda. I guess this means I'm unbalanced? Listen, lady, this is NOT news to me, haha!
Seriously, though, I know -- to a certain extent -- that balance and klutziness are learned behaviors, and can be modified. When I was a child and a teen, I was dangerously klutzy, like flirting-with-disaster klutzy. I then lived on a sailboat (and spent drearily long passages at sea) for 10 years and let me tell you that you learn really quickly NOT to fall over or trip or bump your head or slip or do any manner of things that previously were daily occurrences, because the consequences were just that bad. So I went from being dangerously klutzy (omigod she's gonna die!) to humorously klutzy (look, she fell into a box! again!)
All of which is a round-about way of saying that while I feel that someday, maybe, I can learn to stand on one leg (after all, someday I'm gonna run a marathon!), that day is NOT today OR tomorrow and meanwhile, fellow yogi's, please forgive my sweaty bod slipping over in your direction. One day, I'll figure it out.