Monday, February 21, 2011

So here's a couple things you may or may not know about me.  I'm so very much not a natural athlete.  I did not start running (or really doing much at all, fitness-wise) until the year I turned 40.  I was not a total couch potato, but I couldn't have run a mile if you held a gun to my head (not EVEN if you said there were jalapeno potato chips and cokes at the finish).  Yeah.  I started running because I got a bee in my bonnet about doing triathlons.  I was all, Let's see how long this idea lasts!  None of it came quick or easy.   I started the C25K program in January, 2007 and remember staring at my watch, counting down the seconds, dying for the :90  run portion to be over.  I could barely run for 90 seconds.  The first time I ran for 20 minutes without stopping (something like 3 months later, man it took me a long time to get there!) is one of the most memorable moments in my running memory.  I did a couple of triathlons and then, typical for me, I lost interest.  

But the running thing, somehow, stayed with me.  

At times I ran a little, at times I ran a little more.  A few years passed and I find myself running a marathon.  And then some more.  During this entire time, I don't really pay much attention to my pace.  Or my schedule.  Or the amount of miles I run a week.  Or any of that stuff.  The only reason I pay any attention at all is because I'm obsessed with my Garmin and the way it keeps track of all my nice crunchy numbers and it effortlessly puts it all into a pretty calendar that I can look at and marvel, Wow, I RAN ALL THAT SHIT!  Plus I had some sort of training schedule to reach the marathon distance, a schedule I followed a little more than half of.  Three years ago it took me 1 hour to run 5 miles (on the road, on a good day, minus all of the pee, tie my shoes, look at the grass moments), it takes me the same amount today.  I'm happy with that.  It's nice and round and makes long runs easy to calculate.  It's a nice easy pace.  Sure I've run a marathon, which I was about three-quarters trained for.  Sure, I did an ultra, which I was maybe a little more than half prepared for.  I'm a lazy runner.  I lack discipline.  When all you folks are forcing yourself out of bed first thing in the morning, talking yourselves into going out for that 7 mile tempo run in the rain and earning well-deserved accolades for your ballsyness and commitment to yourself, your body and your sport, I'm rolling over and never even waking up.  And that's fine by me.  Different strokes.  And different speeds.  I have no athletic ability whatsoever and am probably made up entirely of (really, really) slow-twitch fibers.  I have come in DFL in at least 5 races, and deep, deep in the back of the pack in the all others.  Happily, I truly couldn't care less (except maybe it would be nice to finish earlier, you know, when there's still food available. Or people there.  But that's all).  Basically, I am the slowest, most undisciplined, laid-back and unconcerned runner I've ever heard of, with a little asterisk there signifying that, ok, she does run long distances.  Other than that, bleehhh, really, I suck.  I run because it zones out my brain and lets me eat a lot of food without getting fat(ter), I race because that gives me (some) inspiration to run, I keep track of my pace because I'm a little gadget freak.  I'm slow, I'm lazy, and I just don't care all that much.  

So, guess what I did?  I went out and got myself an honest-to-goodness running coach!  Oh yes indeedy, I've signed up for a couple of months of coaching from none other than SUAR.

Why Beth?  Because I personally think she's just awesomeness personified, a totally inspiring and talented runner, she's an actual coach who's as funny as they come and can probably dish out the appropriate can -- and brand -- of whipass that I need, she shits in trees, leaps massive hurdles, runs with freakin' Dean whatshisname, AND she GUARANTEED me that after three months of following her training plan I would have arms and abs just like hers!!*

*She didn't.  I won't.  But wouldn't that be awesome?

Why a coach?  for, ME?  And what do I hope to accomplish?  and , yeah, um, WHY? That'll have to wait for the next post, because I've got dinner plans and Pam's comment from the last post made my laugh like crazy in the yoga parking lot and I hate to think of her dying because of my lack of follow through.  


Lauren said...

Great post. I can relate to much of it! I would not call you lazy though (as that is the only thing that I'm not, is lazy), but I'm certainly slow and laughed out loud that you wouldn't mind making it into the finish when there's still food left. Good luck with the coach.

ShutUpandRun said...

Hah!! Yeah I will ride your ass. A coach is just what the dr. ordered for your laziness. You said it, not me.

Looking forward to working with you and getting you those abs.

Stuart said...

I sense something big coming on, are you look to build up speed and endurance to run down unsuspecting prey to henna tattoo them?

Windnsnow said...

I like to read about the formative stuff. And what goes through one's head during the decision making process. Great post.

Pam said...

Hmmmmmm.....this could get interesting. LOL

I sense a big race coming on... dare I say a 50 miler?